The Dexton Fields Collider is Real

Photographic Evidence of DFC testing

Let's Turn This Sucker On and See What Happens

The Dexton Fields Collider (DFC) is a football particle receptor located in Lawrence, Kansas, USA. Experiments have been conducted across the nation, but the receptor is most frequently activated at Memorial Stadium in Lawrence. To date the receptor has operated only at experimental levels. The DFC is scheduled to be engaged at full levels on August 29, 2008 through January of 2009.

Here's an explanation about what it's going to do:

When activated, it is theorized that the collider will produce the elusive 3,000 receiving yard season, the observation of which could result in massive wheat waving at KU's Memorial Stadium.

And here's an explanation about what could go wrong:

Concerns have been raised that cranking the DFC to previously unexplored energies might unleash new and disastrous phenomena. These include the production of micro black holes, and strangelets, potentially resulting in a scenario where every football in the air throughout the college football season could be attracted to and absorbed by the Dexton Fields Collider. Such issues were raised in connection with the NCAA and in the scientific community; however, after detailed studies, scientists reached such conclusions as "beyond reasonable doubt, DFC of the Kansas Jayhawks will not endanger our college football season, unless of course you are opposed to another year of KU chasing undefeated."

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In simple English, Mark Mangino is going to turn this thing on and Dexton Fields is going to score 24 TDs next season on the way to a Big 12 Championship and National Title.

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Related scientific article:

Large Hadron Collider (wikipedia)