MU Fun with Real Movie Quotes

Credit: AdamL212 (Flickr CC - click photo for location)

Following KU’s victory over the University of Missouri last Saturday a few celebrities were asked to give their thoughts. Read on to see what they said.

1) If you could say anything to ease the pain Mizzou felt after Saturday’s loss, what would it be?

Clark Griswold (Vacation): O God, ease our suffering in this, our moment of great despair. Yea, admit this kind and decent woman into thy arms of thine heavenly area, up there. And Moab, he lay us upon the band of the Canaanites, and yea, though the Hindus speak of karma, I implore you: give her a break.

2) What did Pinkel say to Chase Daniel after the loss?

Lloyd Christmas (Dumb and Dumber): Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.

3) I noticed you were at the game last Saturday, and said a few words to the KU players just before the winning drive, what did you say?

Frank the Tank (Old School): Blue, do you trust that I do not want to see you die here tonight?... Blue, you're my boy!

4) I know you know Chase Daniel pretty well, what was he thinking when he threw those interceptions?

Ted Striker (Airplane): concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...

 5) That game was a nailbiter. There was a lot of praying going on in the 4^th Qtr. What did you say when KU won, as you were finishing off your hot dog and popcorn?

Gaylord Focker (Meet the Parents): Oh, dear God, thank you, you are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God, and we thank You oh sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly laid at our table this day, and each day, by day, day by day, by day oh dear Lord three things we pray to love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly, day, by day, by day. Amen.

6) Hey, you know Chase Coffman pretty good. What did you say to him after the loss?

David (40 Year Old Virgin): You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I like it when balls are in my face."

7) What did you think about KU’s comeback?

Cotton McKnight (Dodgeball): Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!

8) I heard you talked with Coach Pinkel after the game, did he say anything to you?

Tommy (Tommy Boy): Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going. ...I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a (expletive) bridge abutment!

9) Since KU evened the series at Arrowhead this year, it’s been said that more fans might go to the game next year. Are you OK with more KU fans coming out to show support?

Eddie Haskell (Leave it to Beaver): Wally, if your dumb brother tags along I’m gonna- Oh, good afternoon Mrs. Cleaver. I was just telling Wallace how pleasant it would be if Theodore would accompany us to the game.

10) It’s been said that MU folks have been likened to dirty rats. What say you about MU fans and what KU did to them last Saturday?

Carl Spector (CaddyShack): To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

KSU HIRES “OLD” FRIEND

Recruiting Trip / Hugo90 Flickr CC (click photo for link)

From Bold and Daring to Old and Scary

In truly unpredictable fashion it looks like reports have now been made official that legendary former Kansas State coach Bill Snyder will come out of retirement to try and revive the struggling KSU football program as head football coach for the Wildcats.

The Shady Oaks Retirement Community in Manhattan, KS first broke the news that its most famous resident was being considered for the job. Nursing aid Lonnie Lumpkin said, “I was there when he got the call. He was so excited he nearly split his pajamas and knocked over his walker,” referring to Snyder’s reaction when approached about his return to football.

Snyder, who just turned 118 years old this Fall, will return to college football as the oldest coach in NCAA history surpassing Joe Paterno of Penn State and Bobbie Bowden of Florida State, both of whom served with Snyder in the 21^st infantry division during World War I.

Coach Snyder will return to a program in shambles that has lost three straight meetings with in-state rival Kansas University under dismissed coach Ron Prince and may be losing their starting quarterback Josh Freeman to the NFL draft. Snyder, who transformed the K-State football program into a powerhouse during his coaching years in the 90s, but later struggled while producing mediocre teams at best just before his departure, said, “We can turn this thing around. I’ve got some innovative ideas to inject new life into this program and I’m excited to get it going.”

When asked about his “innovative ideas,” he first said “WHAT? Talk louder and enunciate, Sonny.” He then declined to give specifics once the question was finally heard. Inside sources have speculated his new ideas may include the creation of a new policy that will mandate “nap time,” so his players are fully rested, as well as requiring a daily team dinner at 4:30 p.m. that will create an environment of team unity. Additionally, there is speculation that he may change out the sport drinks that are currently being consumed on the KSU sidelines by replacing “Gatorade” and “POWERade” with “Ensure” and “Metamucil”.

Snyder is slated to take over coaching duties at the conclusion of this year’s season and will “hit the road” immediately concentrating on recruiting in hopes of finding some talent to rebuild the failing program.

In related news, there was a report of road rage last Sunday in Manhattan, Kansas. Witnesses said that a local driving a souped-up John Deere Gator became enraged when he was apparently stuck behind an elderly driver on the one lane Main Street that heads North and South through town. The elderly driver was cruising at approximately 15 miles per hour in a 35 mph zone, when the local attempted to pass while “flipping the bird” and screaming obscenities. Deputy sheriff Barney Fife witnessed the act and took the local suspect into custody on charges of road rage and disorderly conduct. The elderly driver, who was apparently oblivious to the situation, drove off unaware of the commotion. He is currently being sought for questioning. If you have any information about a purple 1964 Edsel, with the personalized license plate “SNYDRS”, please call the TIPS hotline or the Manhattan police department.

Run & Gun: Struggling Mizzou Asks For Bailout -- KU Responds

In the wake of the financial crisis, the University of Missouri is struggling to keep their heads above water. The University just recently announced plans for a hiring freeze at all campuses, and there was even speculation that the institution had asked the Federal government for a small piece of the $700 Billion bailout plan to jumpstart the University’s economy. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernake declined comment specific to MU, but did acknowledge the state of Missouri’s economy is at a critical stage and the gravity of the situation is very clear as we approach the holidays.

It appears as if Missouri residents all across the state are extremely concerned about the impact the economy will have on the holidays. One Columbia small business owner and huge Chase Daniel fan, Ollie Tabooger said, “Residents just aren’t buying like they normally do. I haven’t sold any race car tires yet this month, and Methamphetamine sales are way down. I guess they’ve all just decided to make the goods in their bald tired Trans Ams rather than buy from me.”

Additionally, there are even concerns that spirits are so low that people may not even decorate their trailer yards with the usual red and green flamingos as we head into the holiday season.

Realizing the magnitude of Missouri’s economic situation, it looks as if the Kansas University Football team may have responded (either intentionally or unintentionally) to MU’s cry for help. An unnamed Lawrence resident and Economics major has speculated that perhaps KU may have intentionally thrown both the Nebraska and Texas football games, locking up the North Division title for MU, simply because they were “taking pity on their rivals to the East.”

Although the theory may sound far fetched, experts have agreed that handing MU a division title, even though they haven’t really beaten anyone this year, just may be exactly what the State needs to re-build its economy and lift the spirits of its residents. Because there is a strong possibility that KU still may beat MU at Arrowhead Stadium on November 29, which could potentially push Missourians into a greater state of both economic and personal despair; this North Division title that was gift wrapped will be more important than ever, and must be used as a means to try to generate some revenue and stimulate the struggling economy.

KU officials have not commented on the theory, but have said they hope everything turns out “okay” for MU. They did however go on and say that they have no intention of conceding the game between the rivals to be played at Arrowhead in Kansas City, but at least one official said he hopes this is the last game ever between these teams in “concrete hell.”

In related news, officials from Texas Tech University, the University of Texas, Oklahoma University, and Oklahoma State University have all made similar comments about MU’s economic situation and recent entry into the Big 12 championship game, stating that they “don’t give a damn about the MU economy, and are going to stomp ‘em to hell!”

Top College Football Newswire Stories

Credit: Flickr Creative Commons- bmcveyFred Thompson out at Tennessee

It looks like after 17 years Tennessee Football Coach Fred Thompson will not be returning in 2009. It has been reported that the University of Tennessee is in fact terminating his contract as previously speculated, but will be honoring the remaining $6 million he is owed. Thompson’s twin brother, Republican Senator and former Presidential candidate Philip Fulmer said he is saddened by the news and his brother is taking it quite hard. Fulmer went on and said that he was hopeful that he might be able to get Coach Thompson a gig on NBC’s Law & Order to take up some of his spare time. For more, visit: http://msn.foxsports.com/cfb/story/8747354

Coffman to play despite severe menstrual cramps

University of Missouri star tight end Chase Coffman has confirmed that he intends to play next Saturday when the Tigers take on the Kansas State Wildcats despite debilitating discomfort that he began experiencing last week during his game versus the Baylor Bears. Coffman has confirmed that he does in fact suffer from severe menstrual cramps, but went on to say that “this happens every month, and I just need to learn to play through it”. Read more here: http://msn.foxsports.com/cfb/story/8712458/Coffman-expects-to-play-despite-toe-injury

LSU to honor Saban for 2003 Championship

Louisiana State University has planned a warm homecoming reception for their former coach, Alabama head man Nick Saban. LSU fans have expressed overwhelming support of the plans to celebrate the 5 year anniversary of the 2003 College Football National Champions during halftime at next Saturday’s game between the Tigers and Crimson Tide. Honored guest Nick Saban will address the well-wishers thanking them for all their support over the years. A record LSU crowd is expected to return the favor through cheers and applause. Here’s more: http://msn.foxsports.com/cfb/story/8749342/

KU FOOTBALL PULLS HALLOWEEN PRANK: Fans/Vegas Are Not Amused

In an apparent Halloween stunt, the University of Kansas Football team decided to play a little "trick" on their fans and provided them with an unwelcomed "treat" as they played the Texas Tech Red Raiders in Lawrence last Saturday. The then 23rd ranked Jayhawks got into the Halloween spirit as they all appeared in costume for the 11:00 a.m. game. Each Jayhawk on the 2008 squad appeared dressed as their favorite KU player from the late 90's. Even head man Mark Mangino got into the action as he walked the sideline dressed as his predecessor, Terry Allen.

The stunt was suppose to be a joke as the team intended to just wear the red throwback jerseys, but apparently many on the KU roster took the prank very seriously and "stayed in character" by brutally displaying the lackluster effort of KU teams from the Terry Allen era. Mangino said, "In hindsight, maybe we shouldn't have done that. We were just trying to be funny and get into the Halloween Spirit, but I guess it backfired on us".

The students were visibly irritated. One soft spoken student (who ironically opposes the controversial and vulgar kickoff chant of old) said, "We even changed our (expletive) chant, for this (expletive) football game, and we didn't even get a (expletive) chance to say it, because we were getting our (expletive) butts kicked all game long!"

Similarly, it looks as if Vegas took a serious hit and is extremely upset with the KU shenanigans. The line which closed with KU favored by 1.5, was destroyed as the Red Raiders outscored the Hawks by 42. Bellaggio owner Terry Benedict said initial lost estimates are in the tens of millions, and that the casino "hasn't lost this much since that bastard Danny Ocean swindled me!"

In related news, defensive coordinator Clint Bowen made no promises for a victory next week against in-state rival Kansas State acknowledging that it will be difficult to stay focused on football and not Halloween especially since each of the Wildcat players will be dressed as different variations of Barney, the "Tinkie Winkie" Teletubbie, and former McDonalds character Grimace. He did however go on and promise that they would "try really hard" to win next week.

Kansas State “Star Struck” in Colorado Game

Colorado has a secret weapon that few knew about until last Saturday. Colorado backup QB Tyler Hansen, who led Colorado to their fourth win this season by defeating KSU 14-13, was relatively unknown in the college football world. Although few knew of his football talent, many still recognize and celebrate him as a famous childhood musician from his work as a member of the popular 90's band Hanson. Tyler, along with brothers Isaac and Zachary, were famous for their 1997 hit song Mmm Bop, and redefined the term "Boy Band" drawing record crowds to their wonderful concerts.

Unaware that Hansen was even on the roster due to his redshirt status and the fact that his picture wasn't even listed in the media guide, it appears as if Kansas State just got "caught up in the moment," and fell victim to the "stop and stare" mentality that often accompanies a celebrity sighting. Colorado coach Dan Hawkins inserted Hansen into the game following a mediocre performance by his son Cody, and he immediately ignited the Buffaloes leading them to the victory on an incredible 7 of 14 passing effort gaining a mind boggling 71 yards with 1 touchdown.

The Kansas State secondary was torched on a couple of plays, including the touchdown pass to Colorado WR Scotty McKnight. KSU defensive back Josh Moore said, "I didn't even see the play coming. All I could think about was that beautiful, long blond hair that I used to watch on TV bobbing up and down to Mmmm.Bop." Kansas State Defensive lineman Ian Campbell said, "Damn, not only did they score a touchdown, but now I can't get that stinkin' song out of my head!"

Kansas State coach Ron Prince defended his squad saying, "It's sometimes hard to keep your wits about you when you're surrounded by such stardom." He did go on to say, "All that aside, we do however need to do a better job staying focused on the football field".

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's going to get any easier for the Wildcats as they take on the Oklahoma Sooners next week, who have Juaquin Iglesias listed on their roster. Juaquin is of course the youngest son of legendary Spanish singer Julio Iglesias, Sr. and brother to pop star Enrique Iglesias.

Hopefully the Wildcats can find some focus this week and concentrate on a little football as their fans are growing weary of their consistently uninspired and futile efforts.

Run & Gun Investigation: OSU Gets Wind-Aided Victory

Immediately following Oklahoma State’s upset victory of the University of Missouri football team a barrage of nasty rumors surfaced that OSU and billionaire booster T. Boone Pickens may have used unethical means to assist in the Cowboys victory last Saturday. Mizzou quarterback Chase Daniel, who threw three costly interceptions including the last with less than two minutes to play clinching the game for the Cowboys; was quoted as saying to the media that he “should have made all three of those throws.” However, a report later surfaced that Daniel was overheard speaking privately about the interceptions to his head coach, Gary Pinkel. One source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that Daniel was complaining about an abnormal amount of strong wind that seemed to “push his passes back and in the direction of his opponents” as they were thrown. He said “there is no way a Heisman Hopeful as good as me could have made three errors like that without some other explainable cause.”

Rumors have circulated that T. Boone Pickens, a strong advocate for alternate energy sources including an enormous wind powered farm in Texas, may be the mastermind behind the shenanigans that lead to Missouri’s demise. Although, nothing has been proven at this early date, there does (at least initially) appear to be evidence linking Pickens and OSU to the possible scandal.

Columbia resident Cletus Bumpkin said, “At the time of the game no one was paying attention to them two really big fans at the end of the fields” referring to the large wind turbines that may have been strategically placed directly behind each goal post. “We just thought it was kind of hot, but in hindsight maybe we should have paid a little more attention rather than kissing up on our cousins.”

Photo: Flikr Common, Evan McKern

The Big XII has said they will investigate the issue using every resource available, including any camera video evidence that may have captured the wind turbines in action; however, they did go on to say that there must be “conclusive evidence from the booth" to overturn the results of the game.

In other news, Missouri fans nationwide are one by one conceding to KU fans that maybe Oklahoma State “isn’t a cupcake after all” as previous stated after KU’s 2007 road win in Stillwater, Oklahoma.

Run & Gun: Missouri QB linked to Disorder

 

CD Looking Fit -- "Please Don't Spit on Me"

New information has surfaced that may account for the accusations made last Saturday night by Mizzou QB Chase Daniel. Following Missouri’s victory of the University of Nebraska in Lincoln, Daniel was quoted as saying that a Nebraska player was “playing dirty” and spit on him. Although both Missouri coach Gary Pinkel and Nebraska coach Bo Pelini have stated that the matter is closed and saw no evidence of a dirty play, could this incident indicate a psychological disorder for the 2008 Heisman Trophy winner?

Although, I'm not a psychoanalyst I'm not afraid to play one on the internet. Based on the facts we know, it's clear that Daniel suffers from Mysophobia, also known as Germaphobia. Wikipedia describes the term as a “pathological fear of contact with dirt to avoid contamination and germs.” The phobia is linked to an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) where one must constantly wash their hands in an effort to stay sanitary. Sufferers of the phobia, also sometimes cruelly labeled “clean freaks,” have an insatiable need to keep one’s hands clean at all times and an innate fear of germs, especially those bacteria that may be found in saliva or mucus. These people are truly “grossed out” when they come in contact with such types of body fluids or “snot."

It has been speculated that perhaps a Nebraska player’s mouthpiece may have been knocked out during the game, and subsequently a droplet of saliva may have landed on Daniel’s left thumb. He may have inadvertently placed that finger in his mouth triggering an uncontrollable and adverse response caused by his alleged disorder. This event could account for his comments and accusations following the game.

German born physician Dr. Fritz Boogerheimer of the Columbia school of medicine has said such a traumatic event could be devastating to the progress of any treatment that Daniel may be receiving and could lead to a much more grave disorder called “wussitis.” This is a condition where he may regress further into his phobia and begin a pattern of whining and complaining as a natural defense mechanism.

In a related story, it is rumored that Bo Pelini would not shake Daniel’s hand after the game. It is unclear if he was just so upset that Nebraska lost another game or just didn’t want to shake Daniel’s hand because he had no idea where it had been.

Run & Gun: College Football vs the US Economy

I’m no economist and in general I'm wary of all types of "ists." So I have to admit it's getting a little old having the "economic crisis" dominate nearly every news station and written publication on a daily basis eating up precious time that could be used for analyzing and discussing college football. C'mon, can't you have an economic collapse on your own time -- like in June or something. Still, I want to be worldly, so I figured why not go with it.

Here’s a Word Association Exercise….

1) East Carolina -- Stock Market

Both started off great early on, but now have stock that is rapidly declining and losses are continuously mounting.

2) Pac-10 – US Dollar

Both are extremely weak these days. Powerhouse USC loses to Oregon State?

3) Tennessee – Warren Buffet

Both are extremely optimistic about their bold investments. Tennessee has invested everything into Phillip Fulmer and seems to get very little in return; Mr. B has thrown $8 Billion at Goldman Sachs and GE. We’ll see how he does.

4) Ann Arbor, MI – Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac

Both seem to be in housing crisis. Michigan struggles at the “Big House”, Fannie and Freddie have their own problems.

5) Virginia Tech – Recession

Both appear to be showing an inevitable downward trend. 

6) Texas A&M -- Depression

The Ags go 2-2 in non-con play with losses to Arkansas State and Miami, FL with narrow wins over New Mexico and Army … need I say more.

7) Kansas State Players – Wall Street

Both apparently will need to be “bailed out”. See Kansas State safety Gary Chandler and Running Back Leon Patton.

8) Kansas State Team -- AIG Bank

Both may be in over their heads and just might fold up shop with a little adversity.

9) Florida State – 401K

Both were extremely good looking not too long ago, but now it’s looking ugly.

Let’s end this on a positive note…

10) South Florida – Bull Market

A Bull is on the rise. South Florida seems to have it going on, let’s see if the US economy follows suit.

A Decade Later…

Raise your hands. Who remembers what happened 10 years ago? Yeah, me neither. Turns out it was a pretty interesting year. Leo and “Titanic” won 11 Oscars, Pro Wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura was elected Governor of Minnesota, Mark McGwire shot enough juice to break Maris’ homerun record, and President Clinton redefined what a “fine” cigar was all about. All were pretty memorable things I guess, but do you remember what happened with Big XII football?

Last weekend I’m watching scores and I see that lowly Miami (FL) destroys Big XII bottom feeder, Texas A&M. Then I remember just a few days earlier K State just got beat up by Louisville’s declining program, and it hits me... what on earth am I watching, and where am I? Miami, Texas A&M, and KSU? These used to be your national powerhouses. I know I’ve touched on this “Shift of Power” topic before with Michigan, but it really does amaze me how KSU and Texas A&M have fallen so far, so fast.

Do you remember that 1998 Double OT Big XII Championship game between these 2 teams? I’m pretty sure both the Aggie and Wildcat fans do.

  

I’m not a big stat guy, but both those programs were awfully good. In 1998, I think KSU finished the season something like #6 in the nation with an 11-2 record, and Texas A&M was like #12 with an 11-3 (or later 10-4 because of a forfeited game). Going into the Big XII championship game, I think KSU was ranked #2 and A&M #10. K-State had a roster full of talent with the likes of Ryan Young, Michael Bishop, Jeff Kelley, David Allen, Jarrod Cooper, and Martin Gramatica; and A&M had Sir Parker, Big XII All American Shane Lechler, and future NFL star Dat Nguyen. Both teams were led by proven successful coaches in RC Slocum and Bill Snyder, and you could find either team on National TV just about as often as you can find a McCain or Obama mudslinging ad.

Now, Captain Ron and Mike Sherman are in control, both teams have fallen from the rankings, the talent pool has depleted considerably, and the KState and A&M faithful not attending games are just hoping their teams get a couple TV appearances on your local Fox Sports channels.

My how things change in just 10 short years.

Confucius Say …

As most of you know, it was an extremely disappointing weekend. Many of us have been soul searching trying to figure out just how we lost that game to South Florida last Friday. Although we must keep it in perspective that the loss doesn’t mean the season is over, it is a considerable blow and we need to correct some things going forward.

I decided to contact my spiritual leader, Confucius, to see if he could offer any insight. Here were his words of wisdom:

1) Man with one half have twice as much as nothing, but only half as much as everything:

The South Florida game was a game of two very different halves. I thought we played the first half with intensity and a hunger to win, and conversely the third quarter was about the worst performance I’ve seen from the Jayhawks in quite a while. You have to like the comeback in the fourth, and we should probably give some credit to the Bulls, but we’ve got to play the game for all four quarters or it will be a long conference season.

2) Big Tackles with slow feet usually find opponent has the upper hand:

I know Mangino says he’s not concerned about our young tackles … sorry, that’s just wrong. It is a big concern. I’m not putting this all on Spikes, that’s a pretty big job stopping George Selvie; but we have got to do a better job protecting Reesing. We definitely need some help on the outside. If the running backs aren’t going to be running the ball, they better be blocking.

3) Man who has wedgie can run forward to find comfort in Endzone:

What happened to our return game? Perhaps the most entertaining part of the first 2 games was watching the excitement that was our special teams play and punt returns. DP Electric was that X factor that energized our team, and I thought we had a pretty poor showing on both kick and punt returns at USF. I felt like both Herford and Patterson were dancing around back there. Maybe it was poor blocking (should we go back to the basics with the wedge?), maybe it was just good coverage, but I think we’ve got to do better than that with our return game.

4) Linebacker who buys into system, usually get quarterback:

All in all, the linebacker play was pretty good. James Holt had a monster game with something like 13 tackles, but I was really hoping that I would have heard Mortensen’s and Rivera’s names called quite a bit more. These guys are the heart and soul of the defense, and they have got to get it going. These guys understand the system, and should be meeting at the quarterback with regularity, or if not, they should be racking up their tackle totals.

5) Spread Offense and Spread Girlfriend the same, soon lead to score:

I love this offense, and I love the way Reesing scrambles and moves the ball around. Meier is leading the nation in receptions, and Johnathan Wilson had a tremendous breakout game. We all know what Briscoe can do and once we get Fields back, our receiving corps is going to be that much better. I do hope we can find a way to mix in the tight end and more importantly some running plays, because at some point we’re going to become pretty predictable.

6) Good Defense and Angry Wife also the same, lead to certain denial:

I also believe this is an awesome defense. We went nearly 10 quarters this season without allowing an offensive touchdown and then it blew up on us. We know how good the linebackers are, and the secondary is young but talented. If we can just find a way to generate some pressure up front, life will not be fun for the opposition.

You Missed One

Finally, it’s hump day. We’re half way through another week, and that much closer to another Saturday. Earlier this week, I was browsing the web and came across this list of College Football’s Top 10 most obnoxious fan bases. It was intriguing and sort of gave me a new found understanding of why some of these school’s fanatics are so annoying to others. But, as I’m flipping the pictures and reading the captions, it occurs to me that there is one school that was noticeably overlooked. Yes, many of you may have already guessed it…The University of Missouri!

Look, I know I’m biased. I’m a lifelong Jayhawk with a general dislike for MU, and like so many of you, I know that KU represents all that is pure and good, while Mizzou has been described as Lucifer's alma mater; but here’s the deal. A good case can be made that MU fans should probably be on this list because in this rivalry based on the Border War, Missouri happened to be on the wrong side of slavery issue (and tried to bully Kansas into their little confederate club). Today's Mizzou fans score bonus obnoxiousness points when they brag about WIlliam Quantrill wasting roughly 150-200 civilians in Lawrence (followed by the obligatory town burning).

Personally,  I say they are Top 10 because of that rude, drunk, fan that showed his “sportsmanship” by spitting in my buddy’s face last year after Missouri won the Border War at Arrowhead, or because they chucked trash and screamed obscenities at me at my one, and most certainly last basketball game in Columbia.

All of that is I guess the standard off-the-shelf Mizzou nastiness, but really I think there is one large singular rationale that justifies why MU fans really need to be on this list. That reason is the incredibly annoying and insatiable obsession they have with KU. It’s the infamous “Antler” group that raids a visiting Jayhawk team’s hotel at 2:00 am in an effort to make enough noise to wake them the night before a game. Or how about that military hummer, complete with MU flags and stickers, that continuously rolls up and down Mission road honking its horn during a KU football rally. It’s this fascination with KU that is so hard to figure out, and brings obnoxiousness to a whole new level. I mean really MU fans, must you be so addicted to your dislike for KU that you would rather spend time hating KU than focusing on your own university? I wonder what on earth MU would do if there wasn’t a KU to hate. It’s quite sad, but it’s as if KU is necessary to define Missouri. 

Photo: KOMUnews (Flickr)

Those isolated (?) horror stories you hear time and time again of aggressive MU fans attacking others in a drunken stupor (although not entirely understood) are one thing, but it's the collective and extremely unhealthy  fixation on KU that puts this obnoxious group in the top 10 for me.